It's April, FINALLY! My birth month, spring feels, life is good. All jokes aside, I'm not one to care for my birthday. In fact, I haven't celebrated my birthday on my own accord for many years.
(TMI WARNING FOR THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH) Of course there was my 19th birthday, I was visiting my sister and she bought me a cake. The icing was blue and black, the next day I ran to my cousin to convince her to go look in the toilet before I flushed. Let's just say something was green that wasn't supposed to be. Moving on!
Jumping from that little story into my first goal for this month:
Accept all the gifts without guilt. It comes with the birthday and my long struggle with self-esteem issues and incredible longing for independence. I've always hated asking for help, I want to do things myself to feel like I'm worthy of the outcome and I don't enjoy receiving gifts. I love giving them, but I would actually drag it out to the extent of saying I HATE getting gifts. Even when my best friend bought me dinner because I couldn't afford eating out and she really wanted to, my defense mechanism was to get angry with her for buying me food because I told her I would eat the food in my fridge while she had take-out. Of course I quickly realized how incredibly unreasonable I was being and I told her I was sorry for my irrational behavior but it was all part of not wanting to feel like a burden to her. SO, since my birthday is coming up I've decided to not feel guilty for receiving gifts this year and try my very hardest to appreciate the people around me kind enough to bless my life. And I will probably appreciate the people who just give me a hug without saying happy birthday a little bit more, but I won't tell anyone.
Do my very best at work. This comes naturally. I always do my best at whatever task is thrown at me. I do my research and try to complete my work as efficiently and effectively as possible with the best outcome possible. Now... You all know I work for Swede Wellness, and I am also a coach for a soccer team. But I have in fact landed a third job as a full time substitute teacher for pre- and elementary schools around my region! This means I am guaranteed 75% of a full time employment every month (which for now means May because I start april 13th and schools are out for the summer by mid-June). However, if everyone is happy with my work and the schools are willing, I could get an extension of this employment for next semester. So, I want to make the best impression possible, and really REALLY show my best self!
Begin my journey toward a sleeve tattoo. Now I know this has nothing to do with fitness, but it does have to do with health. Maybe not directly, but indirectly. Ever since I was a little girl I've always wanted tattoos, now of course the style and preferences have changed since I was 8, but I've always know I've wanted a lot of tattoos. To me they are a way of expressing yourself and quite frankly, it is an honor to have one-of-a-kind works of art on my body by artists who are so freakishly talented. And for those of you who don't like tattoos or are not interested in getting one yourself, obviously this goal isn't for you. But hear me out on the reason. I've been struggling financially for quite some time, so I have had to put my tattoo dreams to the side for a while. I got one smaller tattoo recently, but I don't count that one as a dream because the idea for that one came to me after my grandpa's death this past fall. But my sleeve is something I've thought about for years, and I've tried coming up with original ideas for it ever since I knew I wanted one. It's been a work in progress for so long and I want to make an appointment with my artist to get this thing done. It's one of those things where you know something means so much to you and you can't really cope with making it a reality, but it's time for me to put my dreams first and work on this dream of mine for real and not just in my mind. So if you have a dream, if you've had a plan for something for a long time. This is your sign to put it out there into the universe. Set the course. Take action. You are worth it.